The lights were off when we walked in. Room 2018. My dad and Shannon were there, eating snacks and giving updates, but they left shortly after we arrived. A changing of the guard. Connor got to hold Krew while I took pictures. And then they handed him to me, nearly twenty hours since I had first held him shortly after his 12:28am birth. This time I rocked him in the rocking chair and rattled off everything he needed to know about life here on Earth. “So there’s land animals,” I said, “and birds and fish… and some fish that aren’t actually fish, like dolphins, but we won’t go there yet.” I told him about water and trees and colors and space. That our planet exists in a solar system that rotates around a hot ball called the Sun. He didn’t say much. Just sucked his thumb and smacked his lips. He was looking around a lot, so Connor googled what newborn babies are actually able to see. Apparently 8 to 12 inches in front of them. They can make out shapes and patterns and faces, it said. And they really enjoy looking into the eyes of whoever is holding them. Krew was looking into my eyes, it seemed. At least I’d like to think so.

The Robert Downey Jr. version of Dolittle played on the TV, and for a few minutes Connor and I sat tired and fixated on the screen, holding hands between our firm leather chairs. Before we got up to leave, my mom asked us to hand her a pillow. And then another one. She was helping set Brooklyn up to nurse, something both she and Krew are both new to. I watched as Mom leaned in and helped adjust Krew’s body to be in the proper position. A new grandmother caring for her baby and her baby’s baby. I noticed the beauty of the moment — the warmth of the dim light, the quiet in the room, Jared sitting by Brooklyn’s side – and felt a sudden urge to preserve it. To capture it so that it may stay in my memory forever. I started to reach for my camera, but stopped myself quickly. Some memories are best kept in the heart.

 

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A few things I’m thankful for:

- A happy and healthy delivery for Brooklyn and Krew

- Being an uncle!

- A job that allows me to live flexibly

 

 

Pop culture things I’m thinking about:

This week I’ve been obsessed with all things Olympics. It’s a wonder what humans are able to do! Almost makes me want to accomplish something myself.

 

 

A random journal entry:

6.13.24

time and time again, our worlds split into two. we are being forced to let go of something.

in my left hand is something outside of me. a circumstance.

in my right hand is something within me. a narrative.

it is our choice to decide which to let go of.

as with everything, our answer is perhaps a little bit of both.

 

 

A random thought:

Last week I declared I wanted to write my next few newsletters on the topic of OCD. A few days ago I started a few drafts attempting to explain the vortex of Obsessions and Compulsions, but it wasn’t coming together the way I wanted it to. Getting through it started to feel like hard, arduous work — and I would rather spend that time with my family. The beauty of this newsletter, anyway, is that it’s mine to do whatever I want with it, so I decided to pivot and here we are. I’m really starting to enjoy the practice of letting my heart write whatever it wants. Sometimes I even think it makes the work better.

 

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Thanks for reading :) Talk again soon.