On Saturday morning, I woke up and set a goal: to write the first draft of this newsletter.
I only had a couple of hours before my afternoon plans, so I had to wager my time correctly. At 8:31, I got out of bed and walked down the street to grab a breakfast taco. At 9:05, I returned home to sit down and write.
Almost immediately, I received a call.
It was my friend Liz. I took a breath and checked in with my values. Would I prioritize my own expectations or the opportunity to speak with a loved one? I picked up the phone.
“I wanted to tell you how my birthday went!” she said. My jaw dropped — I forgot about her birthday. She giggled forgivingly. “That’s okay. I missed yours, too.”
We caught up on each other’s lives like two Golden Girls on a cruise ship. As we talked, I stepped out for a neighborhood stroll. On my stroll I felt an urge to turn back and tend to my deadline, but I attempted to further surrender. What I am wanting to write will be written, I told myself. Liz and I gabbed on.
By 9:43, we concluded three phone calls lasting a total of 32 minutes. I felt fulfilled and full of love — grateful that she called. Grateful that I answered. As I sat down to write, a few sentences came to me instantly. I jotted them down for fear of forgetting:
“A new story unfolded. Perhaps a better one. Perhaps it was the story that was going to unfold all along.”
Almost immediately, I received a text.
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A few things I’m thankful for this week:
- People who invite me to places I wouldn’t have otherwise gone to
- The ebbs and flows of long-term friendships
- Dogs
Pop culture things I’m thinking about:
- Yes, and? By Ariana Grande (obviously)
- Suki Waterhouse’s music, Suki Waterhouse’s Emmy’s look, Suki Waterhouse in general
- Danielle Goldberg styling Ayo Edebiri and Greta Lee for awards season
A random journal entry:
2.16.22
growth according to society: do more
growth according to spirituality: do nothing
Something to practice:
The feeling of Surrender — Lie on your back and close your eyes. Try relaxing all of the muscles in your body, starting at the top of the head and working your way down. Your forehead, your eyes, your cheeks... until you reach the bottom of your feet.
Something to think about as you go: This is what it feels like to surrender.
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Thanks for reading :) Talk again soon.
P.S. “The Wound of Violation” and “The Wound of Inadequacy” are concepts I read about in “The Inner Work” by Mat & Ash. I am almost done referencing that book, I swear.